i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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