i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize