First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
