your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
