I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
