There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
