the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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