Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
