I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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