every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
