I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
