He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
