i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
