i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
