That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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