Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
