You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
