Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize