OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
