i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Sext me about skeletons
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
