dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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