Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
