Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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