i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
