Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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