should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
