Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
