You really coming over, don't trick.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
