I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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