I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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