apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
