she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
