Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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