I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
PANTIES FOUND
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