do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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