Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
