I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
