He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
it's great music for shaving your balls
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
