The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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