You're my little dorito
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You pole danced in your parka.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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