I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
