Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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