Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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