Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
