How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just found puke in my bra..
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
