How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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