All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
