i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize