Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i will never coherently bang her
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
