I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
