Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
