She's JV to your varsity
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
a search helicopter?!
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
