My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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