I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
