Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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