8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
