He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
