I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize