i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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