how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Everyone says I win the strip club
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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