I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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