So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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