yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
