my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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