didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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