In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
