you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
