I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
