I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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