I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize